im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
