do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
you never un-have a 4some
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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