I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
