with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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