I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i believe in u and ur pee
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Two words: nipple clamps
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