Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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