WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
