Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
