Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
