you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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