i just made my gag reflex go away.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
