Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
