He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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