The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
