worst night to have a conscience
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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