i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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