I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
