so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
