I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
