I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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