Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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