He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
