Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
