Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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