All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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