my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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