Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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