after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
