yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She needs sedatives and a leash
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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