I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
