i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
