who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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