just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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