Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
