I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
