Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Two words: nipple clamps
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