both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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