She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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