and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
