It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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