The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
