I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So apparently I’m into choking now
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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