You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
