I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
