I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
