Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
