she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
