Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
