I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
