thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
