i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize