Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
