So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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