He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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