Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
