I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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