i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The beer is more important than you right now.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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