i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize