Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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