hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
